My hero

Evey few heartbeats an unknown neuron in my brain
Raises a war cry
it forges the blade to cut through the thorns of my past lives
it weaves the basket to collect the rainbows of the days gone by.

It makes me want to jump like a mad man
It makes me want to laugh like a drunk man
Vistas of an eden in my future beckons me to march ahead
And I walk, I run, I sprint, I leap ahead

Dreams of Insomniac slumber

most men dream while they sleep
Sweet dreams broadens their imaginary lips and makes them smile
lengthen their slumber in hopes of living the dream just a few more heartbeats.

Nightmares widens the real eyes, mutes the sweet lullaby, drives away the sleep
We draw solace in the more comfortable reality
We throw up prayers for the sweet dreams to come to pass
to lock away the nightmares in some corner far away from the world we breathe.

But my sweet dreams come to my life when I am wide awake
I fear the thought of dreaming about you while I sleep
I may never want to wake up
to break my dream of you by my side as I dream.

My nightmares are all about losing you
Although I only dream of winning the love of you
Tell me love how do I lengthen my slumber with my eyes wide awake
How do I embrace the decree of the Gods, chase away my nightmares
for I have not dreamt in my sleep.

rumblings on 23rd December

With every passing strand of time,

I find myself at the mercy of the same Gods

I can't reconcile with the truth

that you will love someone else.

I find myself bereft of words

Rhythmic verses have transformed into hollow proses.

My heart bleeds to win your heat

My eardrums strain to hear your voice

My mind conjures images to fool my eyes

To tell me that you are here.

My mind create false hopes

that I create a situation

to hear your thoughts.

This is the last stage of bargaining.

A last prayer telling the Gods

I seek not the lighthouse

but the distant warmth of the rays

to bring a smile to my lips.

one of the best movies I have ever watched

I thought of several titles for this post- good dialogs, a coincidental part of any good movie - the day when seemingly random noises made so much sense. Thanks to larger than life status of Rajnikanth and Chiranjeevi - most of us who were born and brought up north of the vindyas have a sort of generic condemnation for south indian movies. We generally have a predisposed condemnation for this form of entertainment. Being from kgp I had free access to all kinds of movies being fresh out of kgp is more significant in this context.

I like to learn the language of the place I stay in. So i had asked for a few telegu movies primarily to have a nice laugh and pick up a few words. The movie in question was happy days. Wow what a flashback of the last five memorable years. Although i am from a purely residential campus and the movie was set in quasi residential college- there are moments that simply transcend the capabilities of 65000 shades rainbow dancing in my 22" lcd monitor. The n number of trips I had to the beaches of Sankarpur and their memories chocked my eyes as I saw Chandu and his group dance with the waves.

I never thought the name Tyson could evoke sympathy and admiration in my heart till I watched this movie. Since I did not know the storyline, I kept hoping till the last lines of credit rolled out that university of Minnesota or its ramoji imitation will greet my eyes. Alas !!

We normally associate high pitched ridiculous action and "mind its" over aged heroes in south Indian movies. How wrong I was.

Only emotion I could not relate to was girls getting jealous. It is just not possible to see those emotions in a skewed environment as that of kgp. I want to continue on and on but am sort of words. My post seems like a ridiculous attempt in English to pay tribute to the movie I watched without sub titles - not a matter of choice but lack of it- i had 2 cd versioin but net only has 1 dvd version srt files.Very few movies make a normal person develop such strong emotions for all characters. Even fewer movies make me watch the same movie again without forwarding ."Happy Days" did just that.

Facebook reaxions to my claims of being molested. Nothing serious abt the matter !!!

Himangshu Jyoti Hazarika my flatmates turning gay. have been physically molested 2 day :(

Sat at 19:04 · Comment · Like

Resham Sarkar

I would want to believe that this has a typo. :) or :( ?

Sat at 19:20 · Delete

Maulik Kamdar

back to business after a dry span :P....

Sat at 21:11 · Delete

Biswajyoti Pal

thats becoz u r so cute.....

Sat at 22:40 · Delete

Himangshu Jyoti Hazarika

@resham it was :(. i dont like being physically manhandled consentual stuffs ok.

@maulik n biswas yaar i m yr senior kuch to sharam kar

Yesterday at 01:25 · Delete

Akshay Sharma

:P :P

Yesterday at 03:17 · Delete

Biswajyoti Pal

doga ghussa kyun ho rahe hai aap? wat is not happening to u is not right..... but no one can deny the fact the fact that you r cute.....

Yesterday at 03:45 · Delete

Ritesh Parikh

wht??shobhit ki sam??

Yesterday at 04:47 · Delete

Himangshu Jyoti Hazarika

yes arikh bapu no longer takes care of kids when i was screaming for help he ws telling sam where he should toch me n i was just out of bathroom mujhe bachao !!!!!

Yesterday at 07:42 · Delete

Ritesh Parikh

abb bas tum bhi duniya ke behkaawe mein aa gaye...woh farishte jaisa lagne waala insaan asliyaat mein ek shaitaan hai :D ...bach ke rehna usse...

Yesterday at 09:28 · Delete

Shobhit Gupta

Oye molested doga...dont cry...this is a lesson for u not to roam naked in the apartment when kaam waali bai's are there...and it was Sam who explored those "sides" of Doga :P

Yesterday at 09:31 · Delete

Himangshu Jyoti Hazarika

sobhit dirty mind. its like blaming someone being raped for their clothes and bapu u got a responsibility to kids

Yesterday at 09:34 · Delete

Shobhit Gupta

Saale ab padha likha ke kamau bana diya hai...kab tak baap ke upper bojh bana rahega...go ahead and face the real urself...who seduce flatmates with silky soft skin.

Yesterday at 09:47 · Delete

Shamik Ganguly

doga this was subtle parenting on shobhit's part ... if he had not staged the intervention, u wud have been molested by ur bai ... now who wud u rather be molested by ... sam or ur bai ?? lesson learnt : dont dress provocatively :D

Yesterday at 11:03 · Delete

Himangshu Jyoti Hazarika

@ shamik my ex roomie i miss a safe roomie like u. you are the straightest person possible :D

Yesterday at 11:47 · Delete

Subhojit Chakladar

doga ... if u ever run for politics (or any of ur roomies does) ... this line's gonna come back to haunt u then!!!! :P

Yesterday at 12:13 · Delete

Himangshu Jyoti Hazarika

it will n i wont get a nobel prize like obama

Yesterday at 14:15 · Delete

Vaibhav Singh

huh dnt be a Rakhee sawant...first u arouse them and then complain of molestation :P

Yesterday at 15:13 · Delete

Himangshu Jyoti Hazarika

lodu even u taking pot shots at me. you yr true saathi @ kgp

Yesterday at 15:48 · Delete

Subhojit Chakladar

isn't this supposed to be the DTW spirit? ... when someone's backside is being pounded ... jump on the bandwagon!
@doga ... don't worry ... every 'dark' episode has its bright side ... u might get the sympathy votes in Stockholm for this incident ... u might kiss back the culprits then :P

Yesterday at 15:57 · Delete

Subhojit Chakladar

u know something ... kgpians do deserve the nobel ... afterall we are totally committed to the pursuit of PEACE!!

Yesterday at 15:58 · Delete

Himangshu Jyoti Hazarika

i disagree with u chako we kill (maro) peace not bachao peace

Yesterday at 15:59 · Delete

Subhojit Chakladar

oh yeah baby ... thats stellar :D

Yesterday at 16:53 · Delete

Ritesh Parikh

rakhi sawant...hahaha mast comparison!!!

7 hours ago · Delete

Ruminations on the years gone by

"The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones" : William Shakespeare.

A fictional piece intended to raise raw emotions in a mob inclined on forgetting the treachery enacted in the corridors of power of Rome. Like everything written by Shakespeare, you can interpret these exhibits of superhuman wizardry over words to suit you needs. I too indulged in the same. There are moments in our life that make us inexplicably happy, makes us want to scream in joy loud enough to snap our vocal chords so that those joyous screams get mortalized as the last sound vibe emanating from out mundane existence.

As i enact those moments in my conscious and sub conscious minds, i cannot fail to appreciate the single thread that binds those moments together is the element of surprise. There is no such thing as a pleasant surprise.

The earliest such surprise that my Alzheimer free brain can think of dates back to the early nineties- 1994 to be precise- I was in class three. Had not achieved much till then. was a mediocre at school who somehow managed to get a double promotion. Was the opposite of being an athlete. My only claim to fame probably was that I was the cutest person in the co-ed school. We had a 10 minutes break after two classes. My cheeks used to ache after that. In fact one of my teacher remarked that i am only fair guy in my class much to the displeasure of a few of my classmates. So coming to the pleasant surprise. I was asked by one of our neighbours to go and watch a quiz competition. The quiz was open to students up to class 8. So, I went. I thing led to another and I found myself participating in a team with another guy from class five. The quiz was a written one. So, the results were not declared immediately. Guess what we were third by getting five out of 30 questions right :D. The winner had around 20 questions right. But boy my joy knew no bounds !!!That certificate remains the most wrinkled piece of paper I still treasure. I got many a certificates after that but that one remains special.

Next surprise fast forwards my life to 2002. I was in Assam then- upper Assam. I just heard of IIT a year back and wanted to get in. But nobody I knew any of the interiors of any of the IITs. I had a row with my best friend that year. So, had spent the better part of the year trying to find out how to get into IIT. For a reality check, I though I should give NTSE exam. I was a student of the state board and the scholastic part of the NTSE was from CBSE board. And like JEE, nobody I knew had cleared NTSE. Anyways I gave the exam. I had no faith in the way our answer scripts were going to be corrected in class 10th boards. This lack of faith was vindicated when my entire school was awarded 66 in English. I gave NTSE so that I can back my claim that my state board sux in evaluation. On the day I was leaving for Delhi to apply for schools, I read the paper. The paper had my name. I was fourth in the state. prelims of NTSE So, I left for Delhi armed with evidence that my state board sux. Moreover, our state had a reputation for declaring results late rather late.


My life in kgp revolved around extra acads- kshitj, tech gc ,placement committee work and alumni cell- necessarily in that order :D. When I joined kshitj or ktj as we affectionately call it. It was not so big as it is today. I was primarily involved in events in Ktj but the biggest surprise came in spons. Me and chuha went to Delhi for our DP trip. DP as in Durga Puja-- this trip is the time when we go out wiht a begging bowl to organize the fest that has become a phenomenon now. The year before the entire member team had collected around 20 k. Not even a single penny came from Delhi. Me and chuha were given target of 20 k from Delhi. By that time our entire member team had collected 2k from one months worth of calling. With modest hopes, I landed in Delhi and within an hr of my reaching Delhi, i started cannibalizing SF(:D)- the cult fest our bigger brother back then. By afternoon I had 8 k. Chuha had arrived by then, we then decided to meet one alum who was not so inclined on giving us money. I dont know what struck me but i started talking to him about an ad. Chuha was getting frustrated by my side thinking we lost the money - why will someone sponsor us after hearing the nonsense i was blabbering. But I was in the midst of a Midas touch then and he backed me adding a few more nonsensical sentences.When I had finished, we got a cheque of 15 k. We had achieved our trips target in one day. We somehow held our nerves for a few moments and once beyond the visible range of Mr. Subhash Kalia - we indulged in mad celebrations. We got many more sponsorship deals - probably bigger in volume but first time surprise tastes sweet.

The heroes of a defective piece

On of the most nonsensical things, I do is that of browsing through the long list of status messages of my long list of g talk friends. One of these messages pertained to George Bernard Shaw or GBS as he is popularly known. He was one of my childhood heroes not because I was a great fan of his writing or his wit of which i came to know much later. Someone told me he had migraine that was it. I have always had migraine for as long as i can remember. As my flatmate (Sam) says, I am a defective piece in whom God packed a multitude of maladies and bestowed the in-flinching determination to tide over them. Sometimes I feel like GOD must really be liking the daily colossal battles between my mind and the body and that of my body with my body. In those dark moments as i searched for a wall to bang my head or a hammer to hit my forehead, names such as GBS inspired me to carry on. Although, i did break a few cricket bats and walls, my skull was apparently strong enough to withstand the barrage of assaults. Those strategic hits to my head were not out of frustration or despondence but they were temporary retrieve from the throbbing pain that was wrecking my head. A painful distraction from the chronic pain that was killing me within and yet not allowing me to die.

Another name that has been in the news of late is Wasim Akram. He was a great bowler, a great person but above all he was a great fighter. He was a diabetic. For the infinitely small number of readers of my blog who don't know about it- I am a 23 year old diabetic - who was diagnosed with this killer at the age of 21. But I have been a devotee of Akram for much longer. As many of you might be knowing , you are usually born with diabetes,as the child of a diabetic father and diabetic mother and grandson of a diabetic grandfather, I knew of this eventuality long before the actual diagnosis. Periodically my father used to not do so well with his health and used to bitch a bit a bout the disease. To cheer him up, I used to talk about Akram. I idolize Akram for all those talk i had with my father. When i was diagnosed, my parents were in tears. My father did not cry in front of me but I knew he did. As for my mother, she suspected i got it even before the doctors told her so all the rivers in the world were flowing from her eyes. I was the only one least affected, at least I had to pretend to . So, I started one of the essays on Akram.

On a lighter note, I am now desperately looking for the hero who would inspire me to win my other fight - win over the heart of my current crush or become a playboy.