The Making of DOGA

I guess many of you might know DOGA as a white fat chinki seen during ktj times.In fact there have been days in kgp when nobody called me by my hindu name "Himangshu Jyoti Hazarika". Before I joined this organization, I had to look around if some one uttered Himangshu to ensure it was I who was adressed to. For the uninitiated DOGA was my nick name @ IIT Kharagpur.It is an acronym for "Dean of Gay Affairs".

The acronym says a lot but you wont hget a clearer picture if you are not in kgp. Although I have nothing against gay, lesbians, I am not one. I am in fact an unabashed supporters of the rights of sexual minorities.I also realise that there are numerous rumours as to how I got this all too striking name.There were no record breaking smocches or any other physical activity. I hereby go on record unlike many ppl I have never kissed a junior(guy) by force, have never had any physical interaction with my senior guys. Since everything is in kgp context, all physical intercations are assumed to bet between guys anything else does not need a blog to be known to kgpians - last of all my blog. However I have been at the receiving end of many a males affection, I can't help that I am cuter than most if not all.

So, again reverting to the title of the post. In our first year, we had a guy called Abhishek Satapathy who proudly proclaimed to have a girl friend and a boy friend. In his own words he was bi. This was done in broad daylight in front of a professor and a first year class who were not yet familiar to the concept of bukning.So, it was news, it was breaking news.Now, in the long class hours where we understod nothing except when to respond to roll calls, we started conducting polls. Kgp has a dean for evrything from student affairs to academics to so on and so forth. We also have a DOPA(nothing to do with dope but everything to do with another form of adult entertainment). My batch mates thgought we needed a new dean for gay affairs so that people can explore other avenues in the island where God decreed that only one half of human species shall reside.This need catalyzed by the Satapathy affair resulted in a poll. Of course Satapathy was the front runner but although I did not file any nomination whatsoever, I found myself a close second.It was probably cos I was more molestable I guess. On my part, I never objected to any form of physical advance.

The next chapter of this story was played at the glorious NCC camp.In this camp the official DOGA Satapathy was not there, so at the very outset, I was appointed acting DOGA.Herein, we had to share the same floor, our mattresses got intertwinned and often I found myslef on my neighbours bed. SInce we had to run early morning in bone shattering chill, we often hudled together to warm ourselves. Interestingly, some more queer things happened, we devised a modified GPL, a pilow would be placed on someone, and a group of people would perform a sort of simple harmonic motion over the poor guy. We called this choda, I shall not elaborate on this matter on account of decency.The important thing is that choda was magnetically attracted to me. It followed wherever I went. One thing led to other and I found myself becoming the one and only original DOGA of kharagpur.

Central characters:
me, HAnsraj Mishra, Subrat Panda, Pankaj Chauhan and all from flight 4 AIR NCC IIT KGP

Adieu to five fun filled summers

It is funny but interesting that a word like myopia found itself an adjective cousin and is now reserved a whip to be wielded by the wielder of pen and keyboards on unsuspecting mortals. But at some level or another we are all myopic. In the physical, there is only a few hundred metres registered by our eyes.Even at a more intrinsic level, our memories fade as time flies by. But some landmarks do beat this trend. These memories stay on with us till we close our eyes in the grave. Not too long ago or rather five long years back, I was packing my bags, embracing myself for any form of ragging that might take place at an alien place called Kharagpur, a place I called home for five of my most memorable years of my life.

Having completed this phase of my life,I now find myself at a very interesting junction.I find myself bereft of words to describe how I feel. I am not sad, I am not overjoyed at leaving the calm village which we often likened to a prison. But every moment I brood over never fails to bring a smile on my face.But it is kind of strange to say the least. Phrases like "you can take a kgpian out of kgp but cant take kgp out of a kgpian" seems true.As things are I cant write all I want in this post.So, I shall try to write a semi autobiography.I hope they all fan out as funny. And most importantly, I would like to thank all my seniors, juniors and batchmates for feeling so many joyous moments in my life.

I am proud of being ruled by the British

Today, with the balance and perspective offered by the passage of time and the benefit of hindsight, it is possible for an Indian Prime Minister to assert that India's experience with Britain had its beneficial consequences too. Our notions of the rule of law, of a Constitutional government, of a free press, of a professional civil service, of modern universities and research laboratories have all been fashioned in the crucible where an age old civilization met the dominant Empire of the day. These are all elements which we still value and cherish. Our judiciary, our legal system, our bureaucracy and our police are all great institutions, derived from British-Indian administration and they have served the country well.

Of all the legacies of the Raj, none is more important than the English language and the modern school system. That is, if you leave out cricket! Of course, people here may not recognise the language we speak, but let me assure you that it is English! In indigenising English, as so many people have done in so many nations across the world, we have made the language our own. Our choice of prepositions may not always be the Queen's English; we might occasionally split the infinitive; and we may drop an article here and add an extra one there. I am sure everyone will agree, however, that English has been enriched by Indian creativity as well and we have given you R.K. Narayan and Salman Rushdie. Today, English in India is seen as just another Indian language.

The idea of India as enshrined in our Constitution, with its emphasis on the principles of secularism, democracy, the rule of law and, above all, the equality of all human beings irrespective of caste, community, language or ethnicity, has deep roots in India's ancient civilization. However, it is undeniable that the founding fathers of our republic were also greatly influenced by the ideas associated with the age of enlightenment in Europe. Our Constitution remains a testimony to the enduring interplay between what is essentially Indian and what is very British in our intellectual heritage.

The idea of India as an inclusive and plural society, draws on both these traditions. The success of our experiment of building a democracy within the framework of a multi-cultural, multi-ethnic, multi-lingual and multi-religious society will encourage all societies to walk the path we have trodden. In this journey, both Britain and India have learnt from each other and have much to teach the world. This is perhaps the most enduring aspect of the Indo-British encounter.

It used to be said that the sun never sets on the British Empire. I am afraid we were partly responsible for sending that adage out of fashion! But, if there is one phenomenon on which the sun cannot set, it is the world of the English speaking people, in which the people of Indian origin are the single largest component.

No Indian has paid a more poetic and generous tribute to Britain for this inheritance than Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore. In the opening lines of his Gitanjali, Gurudev says:

"The West has today opened its door.
There are treasures for us to take.
We will take and we will also give,
From the open shores of India's immense humanity."

To see the India - British relationship as one of 'give and take', at the time when he first did so, was an act of courage and statesmanship. It was, however, also an act of great foresight. As we look back and also look ahead, it is clear that the Indo-British relationship is one of 'give and take'. The challenge before us today is to see how we can take this mutually beneficial relationship forward in an increasingly inter-dependent world.I wish to end by returning to my alma mater. Oxford, since the 19th century, has been a centre for Sanskrit learning and the study of Indian culture. The Boden professorship in Sanskrit, and the Spalding professorship in Eastern Religions and Ethics, stand testimony to the university's commitment to India and Indian culture. I recall with pride the fact that the Spalding professorship was held by two very distinguished Indians: Dr S. Radhakrishnan, who later became the President of India, and by Dr. Bimal Krishna Matilal. In the context of the study and preservation of Indian culture, I also wish to recall the contribution of another Oxonian, Lord Curzon, about whose project to preserve and restore Indian monuments, Jawaharlal Nehru said, "After every other Viceroy has been forgotten, Curzon will be remembered because he restored all that was beautiful in India."

Words of Dr. Manmohan Singh, prime minister of India and possibly the single biggest reason why we as a country is today economically solvent.Thus I start my defense of my belief why I believe English should not be replaced with Hindi in India. My most fundamental objection to English bashers is hypocrisy. One of these enlight(dark)ened folks said that if I am proud of India's economic might on account of our command of english, I should be proud of being ruled by the British and that I should be proud of the fact that we as a nation should be proud of the fact that we were a colony of British.so, here I am waging my war in the digital domain.

I shall try to establish my case on the following grounds
1)Hypocrisy
2)Need of Diversity
3)Dynamic state of any culture

Dwelling on the hypocrisy part of it, if we are to be ashamed of British rule, we should be ashamed of Aryan rule, we should be ashamed of mughals, we should be ashamed of being civilized. History books abound of tales of how the technically superior at a particular point of time conquered the less advanced societies and moved the wheel of civilization. If there was no invasion, probably we would have still lived in the caves. It is not that flow of knowledge is a one directional stream from the visitors to vanquished its a bidirectional affair.So if we are proud of Taj Mahal, if we are proud of Red fort, if we are proud of Ajanta and Ellora we should be proud of Victoria Memorial, we should be proud of Archaeological survey of India but for which many of these treasures would have been consigned to the dust.
We make no bones about cheering for Indian cricket team but some pseudo nationalist who are more fluent in English than Hindi feel that Hindi should have precedence over English. why should English tat give us bread and butter be the punching bag. Is it not against Indian culture to disrespect food.There is no disagreement over the fact that bulk of us have been ruled by a few since ages, how does it matter if the rulers of 150 years were born in Europe.If we are to be ashamed of British rule, we should be ashamed of parliamentary democracy, fundamental rights magna carta, rule of law. If we are proud of all these, we should be proud of whatever we have achieved under British rule.

Second thing is about diversity: Is language so important in context of nation like India where language can never be unifying factor. Language in a country like India can only be divisive ask the fighters of separate state of Maharastra and Andhra. A few argue that national language is as important as national flag.But by that logic we should also have a state religion. But we cannot in India as India allows it's citizens to practise any faith. then again some might argue that if nobody objects to us speaking our language than what is the problem in enforcing another language. for me Hindi is as foreign a language as French, Latin or Hebrew or English. No matter what you say a person cannot be fluent in all language so Hindi was my third priority with English being the first for economic reasons. I make no bones about it. If Hindi was the lingua franca of the world Hindi would have been my first priority. But real world economics are different.If I have to chose between two alien languages, I would rather chose the one that buys my food and medicines.The some would say that not all people knows English in India. That is definitely because English is not promoted as much as Hindi is by government. If all of India becomes fluent in English, the economic gains will be enormous but it seems politicians only care of their own children go to English medium schools. Merely a fact that more people in India speak Hindi should ot be the reason for its imposition. Moreover more than fifty percent of Indians do not call Hindi as their mother tongue. Well I would not like to dwell too much on statistics for they can be most easily manipulated. But ultimately It remains a fact that India has too many languages to be associated with one language. Then their is logic of why only one national animal, but how does the choice of national animal hurts my pocket. If some symbol can help give national identity without any adverse effects than why not. It may sound selfish but if I am generating revenue for myself and paying my taxes doing honest work than is it not more patriotic than professing love for a language and evading taxes.

Finally dynamic nature of culture: hindi was not spoken in India from ages. It was Sanskrit,Pali, Pakrit culture is an ever changing wheel we should never try to stop this change for it is nothing but a futile exercise.

The window that every geek craves for

By conventional definition, every engineer is a geek. By conventional definition, every person who manages to study his way into fooling an impossibly skewed filtering process is a geek. By conventional definition, a geek likes his workbench(computer) and knows how to use it.By conventional wisdom, a guy falls in love with a girls, dates and marries.

But if you are an iitian, none of the conventions hold true.According to some disenchanted iitians,if male female ratio is 991, our number starts from 992, the guys for whom God refused to make a girl assuming pairs are made in heaven. There are few who managed to buck the trend. But for many it is the reality of life. To give you a clearer picture of what I am trying to say let me elaborate more on the curves of the background. If as a matter of exception you(reader) happen to be a girl, please do take offense to the use of word "curve" for the only curve we are familiar with are the ones on our computer screen.Well I was trying to draw parallels with the strokes of a painter on his canvas.

Coming back to the point, we spend most of our times in front of our computer. so we definitely know how to use it. Computers and the lan is our lifeline. Movies,gtalk, music,games and occasionally for some work - we run to our computer to satisfy all our needs(pun intended).But we refuse to call all of them geek. for us a geek has to like linux and ha to hate windows. I shall not justify the reasoning behind why we chose such a convention. But among other things, peer pressure, ease ranks high. for me though, it is freedom from virus.

So, now I have established that we geeks in kgpland hate windows. Now returning to the title of my post. according to one of fellow iitians, all girls who are open to the idea of having a boy friend already have it. And while the rest of mankind used their precious college life to follow conventional dating wisdom, we dream and day dream of a never land where male female ratio is more than 20 :1000. so, I extended the hypothesis, that now that we are about to reach heaven, we shall be rewarded for our misfortune thus far.But then where are the promised forty virgins.So, i set my sights lower and I realised that breakups among couples are gods apology to singles like us.Justification:

1) We wont be a party to it.( we are singles or we know that we wont get a second chance)
2)Girls open to having boy friends will be single.
3)Girls will be most vulnerable and hence we can sympathise our way into their hearts in this window of opportunity,

Boy, we do love break ups.

A tale of two Movies separated by ending and the pencil of Redcliffe

Most of the professional critics have their swords and medals out after first day first show.But being an ameteur who just like to force fed his arbit views on the world I can do anything anytime.These days I am finding my self listening to songs from "Khuda ke Liye" in repeat one mode.These songs bring me memories.of the movies "Khuda ke Liye" and its Indian counterpart "Namastey London".One movie was a must watch the other was three hours cribbing of a looser by a looser and for loosers. Unfortunately there were so many loosers in this world that "Namastey London" was a smash hit. For me there was nothing to see in that movie apart from Katrina Kaif - her smile , her legs and everything about her.

How regressive can you get. Bring a girl on false promise to the country you have left long ago for greener pastures and never bothered to return anything. Get her married off to a local guy, give her the biggest culture shock of her life and think that you are a good father: what crap. On top of it, the stereo types of spoilt by Western civilisation. OMG.

Cut to the movie from across the border, "Khuda Ke Liye", it exposed the hypocrisy of so called good fathers who themselves dont give a crap about the values of their culture but try to enforce it on their daughters. It explores the plight of women under repression. But justice is seldom delievered on merit. So, Namastey Londfon was a hit. Hopefully time will be fairer judge

Sorry, I did not like Slumdog millionaire

I have been living in an island called IIT kharagpur for past five years. This island has some very peculiar traits. This island is not surrounded by water but it is an island. This island is,genetically speaking, has diverse racial elements yet all inhabitants past and present constitute a tribe of their own.This tribe refers to porn as devotional songs. This tribe gives a ten on ten to gunda and enjoys watching critically acclaimed movies.This tribe worships intelligent movies and yet watches shera and loha.

This tribe really appreciates great movies yet dos not think twice before watching the pirated versions. CamRip, PDVD, DVDRip, mkv version are all part of the lingua franca of this island.Every movie enjoyed by this tribe is individually awarded a coveted place in g talk messages. One such movie was "Slum dog millionaire"- the movie to watch for the self professed intellectually blessed.

Well like it or not i have also undergone inductive mutation in this island.As such i suffer from "I am intellectually superior" syndrome. Hence, I sat down in front of my computer to watch this movie for the classes. Unfortunately, it is plain and simple unbelievable.

Firstly, a guy enveloped in shit cant go near Amitabh Bachan. Even if we are to hibernate the logical section of our brain for this incongruity, I fail to fathom how the photograph of the star managed to be unscathed.

Secondly, as a four year old kid you dont have a crush on a girl with whom you play.

Thirdly, you cant speak flawless English growing up on railway tracks.

Fourthly, you just cant come back to Mumbai and find a girl whom you had known only for a few days.

Fiftly, a blind friend of you who had known you only for a few days just cant recognise you after years.

Sixthly, how come the street children get sophisticated guns.

Seventh, after Ismail what seemed in all probability raped Latika, you just cant come out of it psychologically unharmed.

Besides, the treatment of Indians is too lopsided to say the least. This is real America and this is real India.

I have a long list but I shall stop this self inflicted torture by questioning how did Ismail recognise his brothers voice after such a long time.

Return to the cliches

Today is 8th of January, kshitij or ktj (as we like to call it) is going stronger than ever. for the first time in four years, I have nothing to do to make it a success. Times move on people come by to follow in your footsteps.Last year this time round, I was searching images thrown up in google searches to make questions on excalibur. An event that I had very much made my own. I was scanning for the judges to look for any loop holes. If this blog was a more frequented one, maybe many of you would not have understood a word of what I am saying. but since i am the only one reading this blog, I shall the liberty to write any nonsense that I want.

My second year this time around was spent in cal trips every alternate day.In my third year it was spent ensuring everything falls in line. writing codes for accommodation form.Preparing budget and what not. Last year was spent handling math challenge, Excalibur and other such activities.This year I relax in my chair and write about my past experiences.

It gives you immense joy to see your proteges go beyond the horizon. And I am thankful that I am fortunate enough.